Spring and New Thing(s)

I'm terrible at blogging, I admit it. Life has been crazy - but a good crazy! Jackson hit that magical three month mark a few weeks ago and has been a happy camper ever since. We've started him on rice cereal, which he loves, and he's doing well sleeping in his crib. He still wakes up for a middle of the night feeding, but hopefully he'll get over that sometime soon. He goes right back to sleep and usually sleeps until 7:30ish, so it's not terrible. Max is still the one that's up at 5:30am everyday - go figure! We've been doing our Spring Cleaning - I've cleaned out all of the closets in our house and let's just say that Goodwill has acquired a lot of clothes from the Fawley household between Mark and myself. Max and Jackson's clothes that don't fit/winter clothes went into storage just in case I lose my mind and ever decide to have another baby....which will 98% not happen. We're gearing up for the fence to be put up in our backyard the end of this month/early next month. I can't wait to take the boys outside to play and not have to chase Max down the street - it will be much more relaxing and fun! Mark and I...er, I mean the Easter Bunny...are planning to get Max a trampoline we saw at Sam's Club for Easter. It's not a mini one, but it's a kid size one with the mesh sides - Max will love it in his newly fenced in backyard :) In other news, Jackson has learned to roll from his tummy to his back pretty good....and is working on back to tummy. He's babbling up a storm and is drooling like crazy. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing/feeling a tooth poking through on his bottom gums, too....I wouldn't be surprised, since Max got his first tooth around four months old. He's a smiling, happy baby :) Someday I will post the pictures on my camera for all to see my happy kids...but for now, I am far too busy/lazy. So, you'll just have to take my word for it! Moving on - starting next school year in the Fall, I will have a new teaching position! I have been chosen as the social studies teacher for the new South Bend New Tech High School opening this Fall! I'm super excited about this amazing opportunity! SBNTHS is not an alternative school, but it's cutting edge in the education world and focuses on using technology and collaborative learning for students in the classroom. The students will work in teams on a lot of group projects and use the computers on a daily basis as the foundation of the curriculum. I'll be going to some trainings very soon and will have more information to share then...but for right now, I'm geeked!

P.S. Mark and I are THISCLOSE to our Vegas vacay! Woohoo!

It's been awhile...

Wow, I've been so busy with work, kids and attempting to keep my house clean enough to not be condemned that I have completely neglected my blog lately. I'd love to say I'm going to be better at updating, but with the crazy life I'm living right now, I will make no such promise...but I WILL try ;) Since I never know how much time I'll have on here (ahem, sleeping baby and curious two year old), I'll just give a keep updated list of what's new in our life over here:

• Jackson is almost 11 weeks old...and is slowly but surely starting to enjoy life a little more. We had a rough go of it with this little dude...not only was he unhappy most of his waking hours (make that our second colicky baby...wah!), but we also had a small stint in the hospital where he had H1N1 and RSV at the same time. We had to stay in the hospital for two days so they could make sure he could breathe and drink okay...they also had to use their high powered suction tool to suction out all his secretions every once in awhile since babies that young aren't too good at hacking it out. Luckily, he's all better now and growing at a great pace...I don't think he's going to be the solid quarterback Max looks like, but he's still growing everyday :) We've gotten him on a pretty good schedule of eating, playing and sleeping. He likes to smile and coo now, which makes me feel a little better to know he's getting happier and more pleasant by the day. We have fully transitioned him to his crib like we swore we would since we were so bad about it with Max. It's been awesome...all we do is look for his tired cues, then put him in his crib and walk away....he puts himself to sleep! Wow...why didn't we do this with Max?! More on that topic later, grr. Anyway, we've had a few nights where Jackson slept for an extended period of time (about 7 hours, eat, then go back to sleep for awhile)...and right now we're back to the sleep 3-4 hours, eat, go back to sleep. I'm hoping that he starts sleeping for longer periods of time very shortly, but it's nice to know that after he eats, he'll go right back to sleep. At his last checkup when he was 2 months, he weighed 10 lbs 3 oz and was almost 24 in long.
• Max....oh, Max. The terrible twos are in FULL SWING at the Fawley household! Max has also decided that he does not want to sleep anymore at night as well. This is the kid that already got up at 5:30am EVERY.FREAKING.DAY. Well, Max has now decided that he wants to wake up about five times a night just to scream and cry. He wants milk. He wants cartoons. He wants up. It's pretty frustrating when you've just trained an 11 week old to sleep (for the most part) and now you're almost two and a half year old wants to be up all night yelling. I'm kind of at a frustrating loss right now for what to do....he's old enough to get out of his bed and run out of his room....so I can't barricade him in there. I also don't want all the yelling and screaming to wake Jackson up right across the hall and get his new sleeping pattern all out of whack. Any help in this department would be appreciated! :(
• I am only 5 lbs away from my prepregnancy weight and fit into about 99% of all my old clothes :) I have totally dedicated myself to losing the weight quickly (50lbs gained and lost with both boys...woohoo!). I'm up and at the gym at 4:30am everyday since that's the only time I have to go! Our family has totally revamped their eating style from my pregnancy comfort food back to the healthy and smart food we should be eating. I have to say, I'm amazed at how quickly I was able to lose the weight with Jackson, since I'd always heard losing it was harder with your second and it took me 6 months to lose the weight with Max. I attribute it to STRESS, work and pure dedication. I'm hoping to lose the last 5 lbs before our vacation next month!
• .....which brings me to my next point....VACATION! In about 4 weeks, Mark and I are going to Vegas for a much needed break! I am SO excited to spend some quality time with just Mark and I, since we barely ever get to hang out watching TV or just talking anymore with the chaos our house is with the boys! Mark has never been to Vegas, so it'll be fun to get to show him everything and get to do things on our time, not kid time :)
• Spring cleaning is in full swing over here! I've been cleaning out closets, getting rid of old clothes, putting the boys' clothes in storage that are too small, organizing, etc. We're in the process of putting up a new backsplash in our kitchen, finally fencing in our backyard (um EXPENSIVE) and just getting the house in order! I love organization and cleanliness...I can't wait until Spring has finally sprung and I'll be able to open the windows and breathe in the fresh air...ahhhh!
• Work. Going back to work has been a smooth transition....I really enjoy my job and the people I work with, so I'm glad to be back in the full swing of things!

Well, the boys and I are off to lunch at the good old DQ before Mark and I's date night tonight! Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the warmer weather coming up!

One Month Old

This lil dude is turning one month old! What a month it's been around here....honestly, I knew having two kids would be more difficult, but I seriously underestimated how frustrating it could truly be at times! I also forgot how "high maintenance" my sons are the first few months of life as well. Without going into much detail, I will remind you that Max was an EXTREMELY difficult, fussy (ahem, colic) baby up until he was about 3 months old. My naive self kept thinking, "Oh, it won't happen twice!" HA! I have to say, Jackson is somewhat better than Max was....and seems to be starting to show signs of improvement already, which is encouraging :) Jackson gets so gassy throughout the day that he sometimes acts miserable, which breaks my heart. He was also just put on medication for possible acid reflux due to his difficulty taking a bottle sometimes and wincing in pain. I hope everything is turning around for my little man...and we're slowly inching our way to that magical three month mark! I'm also waiting to get some sleep again...Jackson is still a fan of eating every 2-3 hours and I'm patiently waiting for that to space out and get him on more of a schedule.

In other news, Jackson has gained TWO whole pounds since birth....that's right, he now weighs a whopping 8lbs 14oz. He's been giving us some smiles and coos lately...I'm looking forward to a lot more of those once he starts feeling a little better. Max loves his little brother and loves to be our little helper...although sometimes he does get a little jealous, which breaks my heart as well! All in all, we are all doing well and still alive over here! I love having two little boys and can't wait until I get to watch them interact and play with each other a little more. Our family feels very blessed to have our healthy (for the most part) and personable little men :)

Other family side-notes since I haven't blogged in awhile and might now have time until next month:

• I'm only on maternity leave for 3 more weeks....I go back on Valentine's Day. I have mixed emotions about this - I'm ready to return to my students and my school and get our family back on a regular schedule....but I'm not looking forward to leaving Jackson. I'm also hoping we're on a little bit more of a schedule by then and getting a little bit more sleep.
• Mark and I booked a vacation - woohoo! We're going to Las Vegas during my Spring Break for a few days, and we can't WAIT!
• Operation "Get Back Into My Pre-Pregnancy Clothes" is in full force. Since I gain uber amounts of weight in my pregnancies (ahem, about 50 lbs), I've been dieting and working out hardcore the past 3 weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah I haven't even been cleared by the doctor yet....but I need to fit into my work clothes, dangit! AND our Vegas vacay will be here before you know it. So far, I am down 11 lbs. from when I first weighed myself 3 weeks ago. I still have some more to go, but more and more clothes are fitting everyday and I'm loving it! I do miss my pizza though...especially on some stressful days with the boys!
  

Jackson Anthony

He's here! Jackson unexpectedly entered the world on December 22nd at 9:21pm....6lbs 14oz and 19 3/4in! He was about a week and a half early but is extremely healthy and amazing :)

That Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling like crap. Achy. Tired. Headache. BLAH. I took a nap shortly after waking up. I then realized that I really hadn't been feeling the baby move as much that day as I usually do....he was always quite the mover. After about an hour of poking and prodding at my stomach, I really wasn't getting much response. A little panicked, I called my doctor's office and told them the situation. I also mentioned the headache and not feeling well since I have been monitored for high blood pressure the past few weeks. The nurse was going to talk to the doctor and call me back. Mark and I assumed they'd have us go into the office for a non-stress test and then we'd be good to go. We called my grandma over to baby-sit Max while he took a nap and planned on a quick trip to the doctor, then to the store to get some groceries and finish up some last minute Christmas shopping. When the nurse called back, she told us to just go to the hospital to be monitored since I was so far along and had already been there twice for high blood pressure. This irked me a little bit, since I assumed we'd go and have to sit FOREVER...then get sent home with nada! I even made Mark go to McDonald's on the way there so I could eat something since I figured we'd be sitting there forever as usual. We got to the hospital and, again, went to a triage room where they took a urine sample and took my blood pressure. Blood pressure, again, was pretty high. This time the urine came back with a little bit of protein in it, though, which could indicate pre-eclampsia. At last the doctor said the words I never thought I was going to hear....."This has gone on long enough....We're inducing now". WOOHOO!

I was taken to my birthing suite and hooked up to Pitocin. The plan was to keep me on the Pitocin and watch my cervix....if it wasn't doing much by about 10pm, then they'd give me Cervadil to help "ripen" my cervix overnight and then try the Pitocin again in the morning. I was pretty confident the Pitocin would work since it had pretty easily with Max, but who knows! I was hooked up at around 3:30pm. Mark ran home to pack Max up for my parent's house, grab our bags and camera and head back to the hospital. While he was gone, I did a lot of walking to help get labor started. It must have worked....at about 5:30ish the doctor decided to break my water. Just like Max, as soon as my water was broken, the contractions started coming hard and strong. I asked for my epidural about 10 minutes after my water had been broken. I was told they had the order in, but there were two people in front of me on the floor. I cringed, thinking, "Holy crap, how long is this going to take?!". 45 minutes later...after me telling the nurse several times I think they forgot about me and they needed to come now....I received that glorious epidural and felt immediate relief. It was just a waiting game from here on out. At about 9:00pm, I was ready to push. The nurse called my doctor, who was on her way to the other hospital and had to turn around to get back for my delivery. I had to wait about 10 minutes for her to return, and the nurse got herself ready to deliver the baby since we all knew he was coming fast and wasn't sure she'd make it. Thankfully, she did make it, and after only about 10 minutes of pushing, Jackson entered the world screaming :)

Jackson has been as awesome baby and his big brother Max is so in love with him. Having two kids has been a tiring and interesting challenge, but I'm so in love with our family of four and gladly welcome the chaos that is currently our household :) I'm also so blessed to have two healthy children...two little boys....brothers. Having two little boys is awesome...I must say, they are extremely cute together and cannot wait to watch them grow up together...just not too fast! Well, I snuck some time away to write this quick blog, but I have to get tending to my boys now. I hope everyone had as blessed and wonderful of a holiday as we did.

An early Christmas wish!

The past few weeks have been a struggle emotionally, physically and mentally. Not only are you just so done in general with being pregnant at the very end of pregnancy, but you start getting anxious about the new baby and everything else that goes along with it. On top of that, throw in some serious physical pain and annoying medical issues, and you will about have had it. I have never been in so much pain every single day and feel like it's taken a toll on my mood and the Holiday season. This is my favorite time of year, and it's sad to say that I really haven't been able to enjoy it much....all I can focus on is the end of this pregnancy, because frankly, I don't have enough energy to do much more.

I go back to the doctor today and am PRAYING for one of two things to happen:
1.) If my blood pressure is still elevated as it has been for two weeks, they decide to just go ahead with the induction now. That way, we can all be home by Christmas Eve to still celebrate traditionally with Max and my family.
2.) They set the induction date for Sunday like we discussed months ago.

Either of these outcomes would give me an exact finish line that I really need right now. If neither of these things definitely happen, I may fall apart right then and there! Even if they set the induction date for Sunday, a huge fear of mine right now is going into labor past tomorrow, which would put me in the hospital over the holidays :( I DO NOT want to be away from Max or any of my family on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day....I want to celebrate with everyone and watch Max get excited opening all of his super cool presents. Sooo....Jackson either needs to come today, tomorrow or hold off until Sunday to get us through the holidays! Please pray for our family to be able to celebrate the holidays together and for Jackson to be born nice and healthy and ready to join this crazy brood :)

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and expects great things for the New Year!

Reality is setting in....

....that I'm about to have TWO kids....two BOYS. Holy moly! Am I ready for this? Can I handle two? Will Max adjust okay? Will the baby be an easier baby than Max was? Ahhhh! I think it's natural for moms who are about to go from one to two kids to freak out a little bit as reality sets in. Don't get me wrong....I am more than DONE being pregnant and can't wait for Jackson to arrive....but each day as it creeps closer I get more and more nervous thinking about it. I'm also starting to freak out about the delivery....I had such an easy labor and delivery with Max (HELLO, epidural!)....I'm really hoping for the same this time around as well!

I go back to the doctor again for another blood pressure check as well as my almost-38 week appointment. If my blood pressure is still extremely high, I'm really hoping we can starting discussing induction for this weekend....these past few days have been pretty uncomfortable and depressing. I won't even go into detail...just know that it suuuuucks. I have zero patience left and I feel like I can't even enjoy the holiday season anymore at this point. Hoping to blog some good news tomorrow...stay tuned!

'tis near!

Baby Jackson may decide to grace us with his presence sooner rather than later...what a treat :) After work yesterday, I went to my regular weekly OB check-up...37 weeks. As soon as the nurse took my blood pressure, she said "WHOA!....your blood pressure is extremely high". She then took it again to make sure she was correct, which she was. Right away she went to get the doctor to let him know. He came in, reviewing my charts from when I was pregnant with Max, and told me it looked like my body was doing the same thing it did with my first son. All of my blood pressure readings would read fine, then all of the sudden it skyrocketed up. The only issue was when it did it with Max, I was already 40 weeks pregnant, so it was a no brainer to just induce me. This time, it's a tad bit sooner, and they really would have preferred for me to be at least 38 weeks. They kept me in the office for a little bit to observe my blood pressure, which did not go down. The doctor then checked me and said I was 1 1/2 cm dialated, 50% effaced and the baby was very low...at about -1 station for you moms who know what that means :) That would explain all the bruising-like sensation I've felt the past few days! These numbers didn't excite me too much....I walked around almost 3 cm dialated with Max for almost 3 weeks, so I'm not convinced it means all that much just yet. Finally, the doctor told me they were sending me over to the hospital for them to run tests and observe my blood pressure. Uggggh....now I was missing a Christmas party I was suppose to be at AND I hadn't seen Max since 7am :( I called Mark and let him know to meet me at the hospital.

Once we got there and were checked into triage, my blood pressure was still really high. At this point, I also starting contracting about 4-5 minutes apart on a consistent basis....not all that painful of contraction, but kind of annoying-catch-your-breath type. The nurse there thought maybe there would be no need for an induction if that's the route they were going to go since my body just might be going into labor on its own anyway. We were stuck in triage for FOREVER waiting for the test results, which all came back okay. The only problem was that my blood pressure was still very high, which made them admit me into the high-risk OB patient wing on the maternity ward. The doctor was in an emergency c-section at the time, so we had no idea what he had planned for us. As soon as I got settled into my room there and Mark went to grab us some food (I hadn't eaten since lunch....STARVING!!!), my blood pressure went down to normal. I asked the nurse if I could just go home then if everything was fine....which she needed us to talk to the doctor first. Until the doctor came in, my blood pressure would fluctuate between normal and high on almost every other reading. When the doctor was finally able to come in, he told me he wanted me to stay overnight for observation to be sure I was okay to go home. He said he had no problem inducing me at this point if my blood pressure continued to be so high and erratic. He also informed me that if I was discharged that I would be on bedrest until delivery. UGH....I only had one more week of work until Christmas Break!

So, we were discharged this morning when my blood pressure read fine, but I have to go back to the office first thing Monday morning to have my blood pressure checked. If it continues to do what it's been doing, they will more than likely induce sooner rather than later. Looks like we may have a Christmas baby after all...guess we'll have to wait and see :) As for me, the orders of "bedrest" aren't easy. I have a lot of things to accomplish now that Jackson could truly be here any day, plus I'm not fully prepared for Christmas! I wish I could just kick my feet up, relax and watch some Christmas movies, but unfortunately I have a million things to accomplish and a crazy two year old son to still raise! I guess we'll see what Monday brings....

Blessed

Ten years ago I was a 15 year old freshman in high school. Living and loving life...not a care in the world. Straightening my hair to go to basketball games. Hanging out at Steak 'n Shake. Thinking I was "it" with my learner's permit. Oh yes, those were the days.

Fast forward ten years, and I am a 25 year old wife and mother to one awesome two year old boy and another little boy on his way any day now. I am a teacher to a group of kids who need guidance and support. I graduated from college and am pursuing my masters degree to further my education as well as career. I have a house, a car, a bank account and a steady household income. I am healthy..my husband is healthy...my children are healthy...my family is healthy. Everyone is happy. Everyone is employed. We are all blessed.

In this holiday season, I look around and see others who aren't as fortunate. I work with single mothers who are working their butts off just to give their kids a good Christmas. I teach children who have learned not to expect anything at Christmas time. I pass people holding up signs for money as I drive home from my own job.

In the spirit of the holiday season, I extend the deepest thank you to the people who have helped me live the blessed life I do live: my parents, for always supporting me and giving me amazing opportunities in life. My family in general, with an awesome circle of trust, support and humor. My husband, for giving me an amazing little boy, another one on the way and for providing above and beyond for our family with no complaint or hesitation. My friends, who are awesome and amazing to be around. My son Max for being Max :)

I hope everyone is having a blessed holiday season and that we all take the time to examine our own blessings in life.

Good Stuff

Had a wonderful bi-weekly visit at the OBGYN yesterday. Everything is looking good, just about 34 weeks prego. I finally broke down and asked the doctor about a possible induction after Christmas if Jack isn't born yet (which, with my luck, he won't be). The doctor told me as long as everything looked good, they had no problem inducing me at 39 weeks....MUSIC TO MY EARS! It's reduced my countdown from about 6 weeks to about 5 weeks to go! It also means that there's a greater chance that my brother, who is only in town once a year at Christmas time, will get to be home to meet Jack. That tax credit wouldn't hurt either :) It also guarantees my full maternity leave at work AND it's one less week of misery. I am a happy camper.

Upcoming events/recent news includes:

• Max had his two year check up today - still a big boy at 30.5 lbs and 36 inches :) He certainly charmed everyone in the doctor's office. We have an appointment with the ENT at the beginning of December to determine if he will need tubes for his ears or not. He hasn't had an ear infection in almost a month now, which is awesome! I'm crossing my fingers that he won't need the tubes and will grow out of this!
• Work is getting harder and harder. I can't stand for very long periods of time, due to all the pressure on my legs as well as the pressure Jack has been putting on my bladder lately....I might just pee my pants! Not to mention my back....I'm not even going to go there. So....I have to sit at my desk a lot and instruct from there sometimes, which I hate. I feel lazy and uneffective. Luckily, my students have been pretty cool about it and will bring their work up to my desk to let me help them out from my comfy chair. My two paraprofessionals that work in my room with me have really been great as well. They have no problem running errands around the school for me and taking the class over when I need a quick break. They'll be getting awesome Christmas presents :)
• My mind is almost gone. The other day, I wore two different shoes on my feet to work...and didn't even notice it until about 2:00pm! My students and I had a good laugh....and of course I had to point it out to everyone at work as well as anyone I could call and tell. I could blame my ever expanding stomach and not being able to see, but whatever, I'll just blame my disappearing mind instead!
• This weekend marks the start of our crazy holiday season! This weekend we are celebrating Thanksgiving with Mark's family at our house....then next week is Thanksgiving at my parent's house...then the second week in December we have my grandma's Christmas party and are also hosting my family's "cousins Christmas party" at our house...the following weekend we are celebrating Christmas with Mark's family at our house....and the following weekend is Christmas Eve and Day at my parents house! Not to mention my brother and his girlfriend will be coming in town around then for Christmas and hopefully the birth of Jack! WHEW! Makes me tired and excited just thinking about it all....we will certainly be busy, which will hopefully make time fly!
• Mark and I are taking a full day in a few weeks to dedicate to making sure everything is ready for Jack, hospital bags are packed and to get our Christmas shopping done. My parents will be taking Max overnight so we can go on probably one of our last dates together before Jack is born and try to get SOME sleep....then the next day, we plan to make a list of last minute Jack items....clean out my car and put the infant car seat in....then do all of our Christmas shopping. I'm taking a personal day from work for it and I couldn't be more excited :)

We've started putting up our Christmas decorations inside the house...hopefully we'll finish the inside and get the outside done as well before December madness hits :) Well, that's all I've got for now....hope everyone is gearing up for a fun holiday season as well!

7 week countdown

I've hit the 33 week mark in my pregnancy, which means I have roughly 7 more weeks to go. I'm going to be honest....I'm doing everything in my power to reduce that number and have this baby a little early. Safe early, but still, early. Along with chasing and carrying around a 30 lb. two year old on a daily basis, I'm working full time and keeping myself quite busy. My classroom is on the second floor of my school, and I'm always running up and down the stairs to go to the office, library, copy room or other classrooms. People tell me to take the elevator because I look and sound like I might die after climbing those freaking stairs....but heck no, if it'll help me go into labor a little sooner, I'm all for it. I won't continue to go into detail and complain about my pregnancy, but just in case you were wondering, I'll highlight some of the current glorious details:

• My back is RIDICULOUS. It was bad from the start, and I knew it was only going to get worse with the added pressure and weight, but OMG. I seriously feel crippled. Hand me a handicap sign for my car now, please. It is excruciating and just plain annoying to feel so restricted. It takes me 5 minutes to turn over in bed. 10 minutes in the morning to be able to really walk. I cannot WAIT to not have this terrible pain anymore, it's becoming unbearable. I feel so bad for Mark....since I can barely move once in bed at night or it takes forever for me to be able to move, if Max wakes up, he has to go get him back to sleep. He knows I'm miserable and would rather do that than be in such pain, but I still feel worthless because of it.
• My groin muscles/thighs are beginning to ache as well. I'm hoping that's a sign that Jack is possibly "dropping" into position and is adding extra pressure to that area, but who knows. Could just be another extra "joy" of pregnancy.
• Acid Reflux. Seriously? For some reason, when I'm laying in bed already miserable and uncomfortable, my body decides it's the perfect time for some acid reflux to kick in. So, I lay there feeling woozy and even more like crap until I fall asleep for an hour or so.
• I sleep in about hour increments. After that amount of time, I have to take 5 minutes like a beached whale to turn to my other side to attempt to sleep for another hour. This involves moving all 5 pillows I have surrounding me to a new position as well. It's quite the process....sometimes all the shoveling and groaning coming from the pain of moving wakes Mark up, which again, makes me feel bad.
• My nerves are getting short. I can feel myself getting frustrated easier with everyone and everything.
• People feel the need to tell me I'm getting big and really popping. Thank you, captain obvious. I am eight months pregnant, and after about 6 months of you telling me you couldn't even tell I was pregnant (and apparently thought I just walked around with a round gut?), I had to start showing at some point before the kid is born.

Okay, enough ranting on the pregnancy. I've been trying to use the upcoming holiday season as a distraction. Tonight, Mark and I began to decorate for Christmas since the holidays will be hectic trying to celebrate with both families plus the possibility of Jack coming at any point. It put me in a better mood....and Max and I get to go get a few more Christmas things tomorrow :) Well, I hadn't blogged in awhile, so I guess this was my lame attempt at showing yes, I'm still hanging in there....barely :) I hope everyone else is having a nice time gearing up for the holidays as well! I'm trying not to be a bah humbug over here!

To Infinity and Beyond!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Max was his current favorite, Buzz Lightyear, and he had so much fun! This was his first Halloween where he could really take part in all the fun. He did a great job trick or treating, running up to houses and taking his candy with a smile. He even attempted to tell people "trick or treat" in his own way :) Seeing Max so excited and happy really helped lift my spirits, which have been so down lately from all the physical pain this pregnancy has brought on. Max is awesome like that - one laugh, smile or "mama" from him, and I seem to forget about the pain in that moment. It also reminds me, "this is what you're going to gain from this pain." I know how much I love Max and how much joy he brings to my and my family's life....and if Jack does even a quarter of that for me and my family, then that makes this pain all worth it. It still sucks in the meantime, but it's pain with a purpose. Max is going to be an amazing big brother, and I've grown a little weepy lately that Max isn't going to be the baby anymore....he's the big boy! Max is growing up so fast and he's so amazing....I am truly blessed to be his "mama!". I'm growing a little nervous about having two kids....what is Max feels slighted? What if he feels jealous? Will I still have enough time to devote to just Max (or just Jack) to show him he's special and loved? I'm hoping this transition goes well for my family and for my big boy....Max :)

Pregnancy Updates

Well, here I am in my 31st week of pregnancy. Almost 8 months pregnant and feeling completely miserable :( Since my last "whoa is me" post, my body has continued to fall apart. One good news is that my OBGYN decided to give me a prescription for the wonderful "morning sickness" nausea that decided that return to my life in the middle of the night. Not only was I not sleeping well at night due to my aching back, but being up all night with nausea was just too much. I could barely function at work or at home due to extreme sleep deprivation and just feeling like CRAP. I was nervous about taking medication while pregnant, but confirmed with about three doctors that the prescription is safe and to take it. Since I've been taking it before bed at night, I've been feeling better and a little bit more rested. The aching back is still very present though along with now aching groin muscles that make it uncomfortable to walk. I'm guessing that's coming from all the stretching going on with my ligaments in the area. This past week or so, Jack has really decided to show the world where he's currently living. Several coworkers, family members....hell everyone....has commented on how I've really "popped out"..."like a watermelon under my shirt". Lovely. Jack has also starting tap dancing on my bladder, which is always an uncomfortable feeling. ANNNNDDD Braxton Hicks contractions...wow, you suck! Well, if this means I'm almost to the end, I'll take it! I'm hoping with all the holiday festivities coming up that time will pass quickly and before we know it, Jack will be here!

On a happier note, Halloween is tomorrow and my big boy Max will be debuting as Buzz Light Year! I think I'm more excited than he is to see him in his costume and take pictures :) Other big news in our house: Toy Story 3 comes out on Tuesday - woohoo! Mommy and daddy are definitely excited for that one as well, since it means we'll get to watch something other than the Toy Story 1 & 2 that's been playing at our house for 2 months straight.

I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween and is gearing up for the Holidays! I know it's going to get crazy around here with all the different family get togethers we're having while preparing for Jack....but hey, as I said, it'll make time fly hopefully!

Yuck.

I'm just going to be blunt and say it, I'm not shamed. I Hate Being Pregnant. I hated being pregnant the first time around. But I'm REALLY hating being pregnant this time around. Last time with Max, yeah, it sucked, but I also was not working full time and was not attempting to chase a two year old around. This time I am busy, exhausted and just in pain. You forget about how much something sucks after while....that was me with pregnancy. I forgot about how much it sucks until all those wonder things that come along with pregnancy started in.

For the record, I know I sound like a negative debbie downer. I know being pregnant is a miracle and yada, yada yada. But homegirl is tired. Hurting. Ready to be done. Just appease a very pregnant girl and don't judge. I'm gonna rant - thanks.

First of all, I am SO OVER being fat. Yes, I know, some of you who have seen me are probably saying "you're not even that big!". I'm aware that compared to other ladies who are 7 1/2 months pregnant, I may not look that far along. I assure you, though, that I feel like a whale for my own body. I am a person who is typically very health conscious and likes to maintain a fit physique. When I have no control over the size of my body, it frustrates me and makes me very upset :( I also hate the fact that my body retains water like whoa and the number on the scale and I are not seeing eye to eye right now. All of those clothes in my closet I currently can't wear aren't helping matters any. Rotating the same four pairs of pants and six shirts gets old after awhile (I refuse to spend a crapload of money on maternity clothes - they're hideous and temporary). I currently have 10 more weeks to go until my due date....then typically 6 weeks to wait until you can "officially" exercise....but you better believe I'll be taking baby steps to get my old body back the day after delivery, because this crap is unacceptable.

My back is about to break in two. I was sent to a physical therapist early on in my pregnancy due to increased back pain. The therapist told me that one of my hips was currently lower than the other, causing extreme discomfort. Unfortunately, pregnancy is only making it worse....and even after the pregnancy, all you can do is exercise and strengthen your core (although you won't have all the added pressure of pregnancy on your body). My back is getting so bad I can barely sleep at night for lack of a comfortable position. Mark tells me that I put up a "wall" at night since I have a huge body pillow and about five other pillows surrounding me trying to find some comfort. It's extremely irritating and just downright painful. I've stopped going to physical therapy because the exercises they made me do was honestly only adding to my pain, and seriously, who needs that while pregnant?!

I am tired. Sluggish. Moody. Hungry. Disgusted. Hurting. BLAH! I know all you ladies out there that either have been pregnant or are pregnant can sympathize with me to some degree. 10 more weeks....seems like an eternity!

Pregnancy Depression

I've hit the point in my pregnancy where I am just BLAH. My back is killing me. I can't sleep at night for lack of a comfortable position. I feel like a fat ass. My hormones are out of control. Jack enjoys kicking right on my bladder all day long. I'm working full-time. Max is two (well, almost!)...enough said. THIS MOMMA HAS HAD IT! I am in desperate need of some quality "me" time. The problem is, the "me" time I enjoy most is primping....and right now, I don't feel that all the primping in the world could make me feel better about myself. When you look like you're hoarding a basketball under your shirt, the last thing you feel is attractive. Still....I've tried telling myself I can still accessorize myself with cute necklaces, earrings, etc. I can still get my hair did. I still need to look presentable, even if I feel like CRAP. Lately, I've had this major urge to just want to be back in my old workout routine and skinny again! Oh how I long for those adorable jeans in my closet just waiting to be worn. I'm so ready to be back in shape and feeling good about myself again....maybe getting my back strength back up so it doesn't hurt so bad all the time. *Sigh* But for right now, I have another long 12 weeks to go. Then, I have roughly 6 weeks after that until I'm technically suppose to be able to work out again. Luckily, I haven't been gaining as much weight as I did with Max, so hopefully it's even easier to take the weight off. My unrealistic-yet-I'm-still-going-to-try goal is to be back into my old clothes by Spring Break....that's roughly 3 months after Jack will be born. We'll see how that one goes. I'm a very dedicated dieter when I want to be, and we have the Insanity workout DVDs here that I'm ready to literally sweat my butt off to.

Well, this blog makes me sound like a serious Debbie Downer. Don't get me wrong....I know I'm getting an amazing gift from this pregnancy. I know I'm lucky that be able to be pregnant and have my beautiful baby boys. Some days, though, you just have to vent. Today is one of those days. Now I'm off to eat some pumpkin pie....hey, pumpkin isn't that bad for you and I deserve it after I took a "brisk" two mile walk! :)

Quick Update

I have a few spare minutes in my day where I thought, "I'll blog!". Since I'm at the mercy of Max waking up from his nap at any moment, this will be a brief, bulleted blog of simple updates in our life. Here goes.

• Still really enjoying my teaching position this year - yay! Some days are long and stressful, but I'm able to walk out of school at the end of the day with a smile on my face and head home to my family with a clear head, so I'm okay with that!


• Baby Jack is growing and Mommy Brittany is getting bigger. I'm starting to feel Jack almost all the time now....he's not too shy about making his presence known. In the past few days, my students have commented me to that "I'm getting bigger". I told them I was okay with that, as long as they told me I was "getting smaller" after Jack was born :) I'm still not too big...people find it amazing that I'm almost 7 months pregnant, thinking I look only 4 or 5 months along. Hopefully that means I haven't gained too much weight either (I haven't been brave enough to check that one out in awhile!).....uggh, I hate scales. Speaking of which, my apetite has been out of control lately....not a good sign for my scale, either. Otherwise, mama and baby are doing well. I go for my glucola test on Wednesday....hopefully we'll get an a-okay on that! After this appointment on Wednesday, I'll be in my third trimester and hitting up the doctor's office every two weeks now....like I have the time for that! But, it means we're getting closer :)


• Max is GROWING UP! His language skills have really taken off since he started to go to daycare two days a week....it's amazing and so worth the money (or so I tell myself when I write that check out weekly...haha, I kid I kid!). He says SO many new words now, and even picks up phrases that we say by just repeating them after we say them. The difference in a month's time is truly amazing. It's like he's a little boy now. This also means we really need to watch our language around the big boy :) I can't believe he's going to be TWO on the 21st....where did time go?! We're currently planning his birthday party right now....Halloween themed, of course :) He's deciding whether he wants to be a dinosaur or Buzz Lightyear for Halloween. Max has become OBSESSED with Toy Story....all he wants to do is watch Toy Story 1 or 2 all day long. He loves Buzz. He has a Toy Story bookbag for daycare, all the Toy Story stuffed animals, tons of Toy Story books, Buzz Lightyear snow boots for Winter, both movies...the third movie already on reserve, Toy Story jammies....he's all decked out. Max has been quite the trooper lately as we head into his "sick" season....he's already had croup (made even worse with his lovely asthma thrown in there) and a double ear infection all within one month....both of which he took like a champ.

Well, Max has woken up from his nap and we're off to eat a snack!

It's your burfday

That's right people, today I turn the big 2-5. This is an age I've been dreading...since I feel as though it's somewhat of the first "milestone age" of getting old. After 21, the birthdays just seem to be less exciting and more like, "Crap! I'm getting up there!". To me, 25 is...well...it's basically exiting from your young twenties and graduating into the "half century old or older" club. Half way to 50...whaaaat?! I guess I'm exaggerating a little bit...I didn't wake up in tears today or drudge around the house feeling sorry for myself :) So far, Mark and Max allowed me to sleep in...take a shower when they left for a little bit...finish up some laundry....and now write this fine blog here. We'll be going over to my parents for a homemade breakfast, then maybe a little shopping or a movie with my mama....then out to dinner at Ruth Chris Steak House with Austin and Tabitha. We always talk about going there and have never followed through, so I'm super excited...I've heard the food is fabulous, and let's face it, there isn't much food my pregnant butt doesn't like these days! So, today is like any other day....I'm just getting a little extra attention I guess :) Oh, and maybe my car insurance will drop as well...bonus!

In other news, school is still going great. Everything is still falling into place, and I enjoy planning for class and actually going to work in the morning. I'm in a good place right now :)

Last week was quite the stressful week for me...I'm hoping for quite the turnaround this week. When we went in for another doctor appointment as well as another ultrasound, baby Jack still wouldn't fully cooperate with the tech, so now we are going back on Tuesday for another ultrasound. Doctor has stated there is no cause for concern, they just simply cannot check the last check mark off their ultrasound list until they have clear shots. Of course to me, all I'm hearing is, "SOMETHING'S WRONG! SOMETHING'S WRONG! SOMETHING'S WRONG!". So, in true Brittany fashion, I spent the past few says freaking out to family members and calling the doctor for reassurance as to why we are getting another ultrasound. By now, I'm sure many think I'm certified crazy. I can't help it though....I read into things way too much, just the way I am. SO, I'm really hoping that on Tuesday Jack decides to be in a position to give the tech every shot they need so the doctor can tell me "A-OK!" and we can move on from this ultrasound drama we've been put through this pregnancy. I'd be okay with having no more ultrasounds with this pregnancy...it's been so stressful! With Max, we had one ultrasound early on to determine a due date...then one at about 20 weeks for the usual scan. With Jack, we've had two early ultrasounds to determine the due date....and we're going on our third ultrasound for the usual scan to check the baby out. I'm all ultrasound-ed out. Also this week, as soon as we returned home from our ultrasound (me basically in tears over frustration and craziness), Max was lying on the couch obviously sick :( So, I had to stop thinking about my poor self and switch it into overdrive in mommy gear. Turns out Max had croup, which only made his asthma act up worse. The two together are not a friendly combination. I was up basically every night this week with him while still going to work. There were a few times the coughing and labored breathing got so severe, we almost took him to the ER. After a few scares, we had the bags packed and ready to go by the door. I felt terrible for my miserable baby, and there was nothing I could do but hold him. After several medications and a few crazy days, Max is feeling better. He still has a cough, but he's up and running again. It made for a very stressful and long week, on top of my own self already freaking out.

SO...the goal for this week is to have a healthy Max back on his regular schedule and returning to daycare....a CLEAR, BEAUTIFUL ultrasound on Tuesday....and a successful and calm week at work with the kiddos. Fingers crossed :)

Karma?

Well, I made it through the first week of school! Technically, I made it through the first three days of school since the students didn't come back until Wednesday.....but us teachers were there Monday and Tuesday slaving away in our classrooms and attending countless meetings. So, it was a full week back to work for me. First off, Max did fabulous getting up early to go to daycare on Wednesday and Friday...AND did a fabulous job with his teacher and new friends there. Thanks Max for being such an awesome little dude! :) Now for even more exciting news...

I know it's still pretty early on in the school year, but I am really digging where I'm at and what I'm doing this year. The students, though challenging, really need a positive role model...and really do seem to want to learn underneath a lot of underlying issues they are having in life. The teachers are so down to earth and welcoming...real people! The staff is so helpful and funny. And the administration....WOW! They have been so supportive and real, it's amazing. I have never felt like I had a team on my side until now. Not only have they supported my classroom decisions regarding discipline and my students since day one, but they have shown that to the students by following through on their zero tolerance policy for behavior. WHAAAT?! You mean, you actually care about me and my classroom?! You mean, you want me to be able to create an environment in which learning is possible....yet the classroom is structured with strict procedures and consequences?! It's amazing. I went home from school the first three days with a huge smile on my face, anxious to go back the next day and continue to make a difference for my kids who truly need it! *For those of you that are wondering what in the world I'm talking about regarding discipline and all that in my classroom, I teach students with emotional disabilities and some severe behavioral issues.* OH, and did I mention the big ol' security guards and school police officers and patrol up and down the hallways...popping their heads into my room to let the kids know they're there...as well as to see if I need anything?! LOVE IT! I also must mention the fact that there is another teacher in my building that teaches the same group of studentsd I do, only in a different grade level. He, too, has been an amazing help and support to me. I feel truly blessed and thankful for this opportunity I have been given this year. I feel as though my teaching experience has been totally flipped around, and I have that "spark" to want to teach again...something that was fizzling out due to previous circumstances. I'm so excited to get that spark back and be excited for each day. I'm so excited to get through the rough exteriors of my students and actually help them in their lives. I'm so excited to be a a part of the community I've been welcomed into. I know I'll have some rough days. I know everyone won't always agree. But for right now, I'm so thankful, thrilled and happy. Although I do still miss being at home with Max everyday, I know I'm doing what's best for my family, myself and really these kids in the community. Who knows, maybe my perspective will change in two days, but for right now I'm hopeful and open for change. Karma has swung in my direction :)

Oh boy!

It's a BOY! This holiday season, we will welcome Jackson Anthony to our family. We plan to call him Jack, so we will have our rough and tough Max and Jack. I felt kind of bad when a lot of people thought I was angry or disappointed when it didn't turn out to be a girl. Of course I'm not - Jack is healthy and that's all that matters! Would I like a girl someday? Heck yeah! But I'm excited for Max to have a little brother close in age that he can play with and they can grow up being best buddies. I also have an excuse for all the clothes I buy Max now since Jack will be able to wear them as well :) In the future (distant future, folks!), we may have another one...and maybe that will be a girl....but if not, we will be a chaotic family of three boys haha. Anyway, I am VERY excited to welcome Jack and even more excited to get back and shape and fit into my clothes! I tell you what....I don't like one thing about pregnancy, and I am over having a very limited wardrobe and feeling fat. I still have a little over four months to go, so I guess I'll just need to keep on truckin.

One small hitch in the pregnancy that we currently have to keep our eyes on is that apparently my placenta is lying pretty low in the uterus. For those of you who may not know, the placenta is what provides the baby with nutrients through the umbilical cord. It usually lays up high, so that when it's time for the baby to be born, there is nothing blocking the baby's exit. Well, when your placenta lays low, it could block the baby's exit and also cause some damage to mama. The ultrasound revealed that right now, it's not completely covering the exit for the baby, but it is low enough that we have to keep an eye on it. When I go for my next check up in 4 weeks they will do another ultrasound to see the placenta's position. I guess this is something that sometimes just corrects itself and it migrates back up north. Otherwise, if it continues to stay low, that could mean a possible c-section. If it stays low, it COULD cause some problems toward the end of the pregnancy as well....so I'm really hoping that it migrates back up north so we have no worries of any minor complications and so I don't have to have a planned c-section. We'll see what happens!

School starts in one freaking week for my corporation and I am NOT prepared. We have been so busy since I've accepted this teaching position that I really haven't had much time to prepare. This week, though, I'll be in my classroom for most of the week getting myself organized and ready to go. Max also starts daycare on Wednesday (he'll go Wednesdays and Fridays) and I'm freaking myself out about it...he;s getting so big!

Well, adios for now, I will update soon with the happenings of our fam.

FIVE days!

It's finally here...well, almost! This Friday...in FIIIIVE days...we have our ultrasound and will find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Of course, the number one thing I want to here is that baby is doing well and is healthy. After much debate, we have a name picked out for a boy and for a girl....which I will announce on Friday as well :) I hope this week doesn't drag by, so I guess it's a good thing that I have meetings and appointments all week long! We will be quite busy this week...and I only have two weeks left of summer until school starts...yikes!

Tomorrow we are heading to the bank to refinance our house. Interest rates are amazing right now and we're getting an awesome deal. It really won't bring our mortgage payment down much (boo!), but more of our money will be going towards principal than interest, which is a good thing in the long run. Tuesday I will sign all my paperwork with my new school corporation :) Wednesday and Thursdays I have trainings all day long with other special education ED teachers like myself. This is something I'm really looking forward to...last year, I was all by myself and had no one in a similar position to talk to. Now I will have a whole room full of people just like me to share ideas, go over the program and expectations for the year and just kind of support one another. It will be nice to meet people who "get it" and understand what you're doing, so I'm pretty excited to see how that goes. Then, it's Ultrasound Friday, woohoo!

I also feel I must spend a little bit of this post complaining about money....ugggh do I hate money! Especially that time of the month when all of your big bills come out at once and you're left thinking, "What the hell just happened?!" We took Max to Indy this past weekend to see my sister, brother-in-law and niece.....we got to go to the State Fair with them as well as my parents, which was a blast! Mark, Max and I went down early on Friday to hit up the malls first....Max needed new Fall clothes since he grows like a weed, and I needed some maternity clothes for work and all of the maternity clothes around here are hideous (except for Target...I will give props to Target!). Well, I found our that maternity clothes in general are pretty hideous. I'm not the "flow-y shirt" type girl...I'd rather have form fitting shirts and clothes for that matter....I'm not trying to hide a pregnancy, so I'd rather not make myself look any bigger than I already am. I got two pairs of maternity work pants and a few shirts...number one, because maternity clothes are freaking expensive....number two, I refuse to spend a lot of money on clothes I can only wear for a few months...and number three, because most of the clothing is disgusting. Then came Max's clothing....which I am obsessed with shopping for clothes for Max. Max always gets more clothes than anyone else in the family....I fear how bad my habit will become if we find our we're having a girl, because girl clothes are twice as cute and twice as easy to find! The problem with boy clothes is it is so hard to find anything cute....so when I find a store that actually has cute boy clothes, I go crazy and buy everything. Sooo, Max cleaned up in the Fall clothing department...and STILL needs another pair of shoes and a Fall coat and I'm sure other things that I'll think of. In true Mark fashion, he only bought himself two things, as he can never find anything he likes in any store.....but between the three of us, it was a pretty salty shopping trip. Then came the most expensive...but fun....fair I've ever been to! We ended up dropping a lot of cash at the fair as well, since you have to eat all that fried and expensive fair food. I must say the money was worth it though, because Max got to go on quite a few rides with Harper and my mom (I couldn't go with him since I'm preggers :()...and HE LOVED IT! He had the biggest smile on his face...worth every penny! It was freaking HOT though...which did not do well with walking around all day pregnant....so my feet swelled up pretty nicely I must add. Anyway, although we had fun, I can't help but feel guilty sometimes when I blow a lot of money. It's not like we won't be able to eat next month or fall behind on our bills, but I am a freak of nature when it comes to watching our bank account and making sure we have an adequate amount in our savings so we can live as comfortably as we are blessed to live. Sometimes I just get into a funk and a bad mood over it, which is so silly....but anyway!

So there ya have it. Minus my mini freak outs, we're enjoying our last few weeks of summer, but are anxiously awaiting the Fall! On a side note, Max starts daycare next week, and I am a MESS over it. He's only going two days a week...but I can't help but feel scared and worried....and not happy about the new bill in the house haha :) BUT, I know he needs it...I know it will free our stressed out work schedules up a little bit when we need to work a little later...and I know it will be good for him to get our and socialize and to learn a "school-like" routine. I sure hope he loves it, because that will make it a lot easier for mommy to take him there two days a week when she knows he's excited to go and will have a fun day :) My big boy is growing up so fast!!!

Stay tuned for the exciting information on our newest Holiday addition :)

New Leaf

Sooo...the big news in the Fawley household is that I am now employed and will be teaching in the Fall :) I went on an interview with South Bend Community School Corporation and was hired on the spot. I will know my school and teaching assignment sometime this coming week - I can't wait! Not only do I need to start researching daycares, but I want to get into the classroom and start getting the books together and planning. It will more than likely be an Intermediate Center (middle school), so I'm excited to be back into my original licensed area of teaching :) As far as daycares go, I already know this is going to be a challenge for me....I'm kinda picky. Although Mark's schedule may change (if he hopefully gets day shift soon!), right now he has Mondays off and will watch Max on Mondays....my parents will take Max on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Max will go socialize with other kids at a daycare on Wednesday and Friday. SO, not only do I need to find a GOOD, EDUCATION, REPUTABLE daycare....I need to find one that will allow him to only come two days week at a reasonable rate as well. I've thought about hiring a nanny or someone we know to watch Max at our house those two days, but I just feel like he needs (and wants!) that socialization with other kids. Also, I'd like for him to be in an educational environment. So, the search is on! Any suggestions would be appreciated, because now I seriously need em and quick!

Right now my focus has shifted to get my house reorganized and ready for the hectic Fall schedule to take place. I would love to not have to worry about a messy house while at work - thankfully our cleaning lady is amazing as well :) We're all excited for this new chapter in our lives....I'm really going into this position with a positive attitude and excitment, knowing I've been through a lot and it's only gotta get better from here on out! I'm going to MAKE this an awesome experience and love to do what I do again....make it fun, like it used to be! I'll update as soon as I have more info....in the meantime, please let me know of any reputable daycares you may know of in the Granger area...or close to the Granger area but in South Bend, as I'll be heading in that direction. I need educational, reputable, two days a week, afforable! :)