Waiting...

Sooo, a really really not-so-great trait of mine is me being extremely impatient. Impatient in life in general. So, when a situation arises in which I have to wait on certain things, I get quite irritable. When situations are out of my control, I get very nervous and crazy. So, imagine my temperament lately when "waiting" has become a major part of life. What am I currently "waiting" on?

• Notice of if I will be laid off or not.
• Two pink lines.
• Max to decide to walk independently.
• Money situation - will I be a stay-at-home mom or have to find a new career?
• Warm, summer weather.
• The end of the school year (Ahem, May 28th).
  

As you can see, that's a pretty decent list of pretty big life-changing events. Therefore, Brittany is not such a happy camper lately. After taking my frustrations out on any and all food in sight, I decided that eating wasn't going to help any of these situations. So, now I need to probably add "lose the feeling bad for yourself pounds you probably just put on, you crazy moron" to my list. *Sigh*. To be 12 years old again, without a care in the world! Those were the days! I know, I know...."patience is a virtue". Well, whatever. I can't help it - call it OCD, call it crazy, but I will probably continue to worry and WAIT impatiently until each and every one of those bullet points is fulfilled. I will just lay off the food. Hopefully.

In the meantime, you may not want to talk to me for a couple of months :) Just kidding, I'm not that bad!......yet.

Lucky

Mark, Max and I went to a party of one of my students this afternoon. This student was just recently adopted by his foster family, and they were having an Open House to celebrate his adoption. This little boy couldn't ask for a better family to be welcomed into, and I am SO happy for him. His mom and dad have been wonderful to work with this school year, and they are just so caring and compassionate. It really makes you think - because not all kids in foster care, or even who aren't in foster care, have great families. Most of my students that I see on a daily basis come from terrible home lives and broken families. Gena, her husband and their boys came to the party as well - and as I watched Max laugh and play with her boys, I couldn't help but be thankful for the life and opportunities Mark and I are able to provide him with. Which, in turn, made me thankful for my own parents - who raised me in a wonderful family and household, and gave me the opportunity to pursue and have a great life. In turn, my own family now has a wonderful life - which I am eternally greatful for. Unlike other kids, my kids will know when their next meal is coming. They will have clothes that are clean and are their size because I can afford laundry detergent and new clothes when needed. They will have numerous games, books and toys, because their dad and I are able to have nice paying jobs to provide them with that. They will not have to worry about abuse or neglect. They will grow up in a house where education is valued, and their good old mom will make sure their homework is complete and correct. Everyday, I see kids come to school with marks on them....hungry....in clothes that do not fit....homework not completed, parents not involved. It's sad. And I am grateful.

Yes, I'm still here....

I've been kind of bad with blogging lately....but I do have good excuses, mainly named Max and Harley. Life with a toddler and a puppy is double trouble! We've been working extra hard lately on the walking with Max...and although he IS making progress and showing improvement, my ever so impatient self is still hoping he starts really walking SOON. In order for him to walk 1o-12 independent steps, my hubby and I will bribe him with either the remote control, our cell phones or the computer mouse (three of his faves!). When it's just us working with him, most of the time he's in a good mood and will cooperate for awhile. When his physical therapist comes, though, Max SCREAMS for me the entire time she's there....making it quite difficult for her to work with him. Although Max is showing more confidence in his steps, he has yet to stand himself up in the middle of the floor and just either stand or walk. He just turned 16 months, and our goal is really for him to be walking by 18 months...that means April 21st, people! Moving on to the next baby in the house, Harley and her "puppy stage" are in full swing. She is biting everything and everyone. We do have her in one-on-one puppy training classes once a week, tomorrow being our third class out of six. Our trainer assured us that by the time our classes are over, she should be a lot calmer. She really is a smart dog and fast learner....at 12 weeks old, she's pretty much potty trained, knows how to sit, fetch and walk pretty well on a lease. She's getting into a little bit of a barking stage right now too, which we're working through. I can't wait until the summer when she's able to run off all of her energy outside and at the lake....she will be in 7th heaven!

In other news, the weather SUCKS. I've gone back and forth with the idea of getting out of here and going somewhere warm for an extended weekend or even Spring Break. We thought about taking Max to Disney World since we really wanted to take a vacation as a family of three before another baby comes along (no, I'm not pregnant...yet)....but we do think that Max would still be a little young, and it'd be kind of a waste of money since he wouldn't really be able to do much yet. We also tossed around the idea of going to Vegas since my hubby has never been there....but everything I've looked up regarding Vegas is so dang expensive, plus all the money you'll spend once you get there! There's also the issue of us tossing around the idea of trying to cut back and pay off my husband's car in order to get that payment out of our monthly budget. I'm really not too happy about the idea of spending our entire tax refund on paying down his car loan....as selfish as this sounds, I would like to see a little bit of that money go towards something fun. Although I guess an extra $325 in the montly budget would be fun as well, but my impatient self is all about immediate gratification though. We'll see. Also lingering over us right now is my husband's impending shoulder surgery. Although it doesn't sound like too complicated of a procedure with a quick recovery period, he will be off work for 4-6 weeks due to the intensity of his job. We'll still be receving 80% of his paycheck though, so it's almost like a mini-vacation for him and I, so I'm kind of happy with that :) We're currently debating when to schedule the surgery, in the Spring or Summer. When he does go back to work, he may have the opportunity to get on a better shift, which would be AWESOME...keeping my fingers crossed for that one!

Anywho, in the work department, I still have some time until I know my fate with my current position. Formal evaluations are due at the end of March in which I will find out if my contract will be renewed with my corporation....then in late April I will find out if I am being laid off from the coporation. With the current cut in education funds by Indiana, several school corporation are laying off several teachers and cutting school programs. Since I am quite low on the seniority list (third from the bottom, to be exact!), I have much reason to believe I will be laid off. Since I am in a unique position, though, there is a chance that the lay-offs may not touch me. Regardless, I have been exploring other avenues of employment and will be employed either way the cards fall...so, I'm not stressing like a lot of others are :)

That's all I have for now! I hope everyone's keeping their heads up in this crappy weather.....hey, it's almost March, maybe we'll see a few 40 degree days in there somewhere!

So, it's been awhile...

It has been a crazy few weeks...so in an attempt not to ignore the blog I finally created, I will post a few bullet updates as to what has been going on in my neck of the woods:

• We adopted a puppy from an animal rescue shelter in South Bend. We were all set on a Goldendoodle as our new pet, until we started looking online at all of the homeless pets that really needed a good home. Sooo....we adopted a (now) 10 week old Shepherd/Husky mix puppy we named Harley. Life with a toddler and puppy has been...difficult and fun at the same time. Harley is doing amazing with house training, and has only has a few accidents on the floor. She is a puppy though, and is almost as wild as Max at times. She also hates her crate, which we have had to put in the basement at night for her to sleep in since she whines so loudly in it at night (or anytime she has to go in it for that matter). I'm hoping that gets better soon....We've enrolled her in one-on-one puppy classes that began last week to help us get started right away on good doggy habits. Max and Harley have a love-hate relationship....when Max wants to play and be wild, he loves Harley. When he's trying to watch Sesame Street or is tired or just wants to chill and Harley starts nipping at him, he gets quite irritated. I have a feeling they will be best buddies soon though :) I am far too lazy to upload the recent pictures of my camera right now (that include pictures of Harley), so you will have to stay tuned to see our crazy mutt.
  

• I've begun to pursue a new career path that I'm kind of nervous, kind of excited about. It involves a zillion hours of paperwork to get started, so I'm currently trying to finish tackling that part. I'm not going to go into much detail just yet until everything is worked out and finalized, but hopefully I will have some good news too. This couldn't come at a better time, since my dissatisfaction with my job and the recent education budget cuts in Indiana are no joke. Sometime by the end of next month, my corporation with know the list of people who will be out of a job due to the millions of dollars budget cut within the schools. Scary stuff for all educators right now! I'm glad to have some back-ups.
  

• Max has been a sicky boy. Last week he had a cold, then this week the cold came back with a vengeance and turned into some nasty other illness. His runny nose was out of control, and last night his fever spiked up to 104 while he vomited all over daddy, the couch, the rug, himself and the floor. We had to put the poor thing in a cool bath and have cold washcloths all over him to get the fever under control....he was so miserable :( Luckily, he woke up today feeling better, although he still has a low-grade fever. Let's hope he kicks this thing once and for all very soon!

Well, that's all for now. I'll try to be back with more interesting news soon :) I hope you all are doing well while we wait for warmer weather around here!

Walk It Out

What in the heck does the title of my post means? Well, it's a desperate plea to my son to START WALKING. Some of you are probably scratching your heads and doing the math on your fingers....YES, he is 15 months old and not walking. Refusing to even think about walking...or standing. Just as an extra boost, Max's pediatrician got us involved with a great organization called First Steps about two months ago. First Steps is an early intervention organization for kids from birth to age three for a multitude of different things. Anyway, we got hooked up with a great physical therapist, who evaluated Max and determined that he had low muscle tone in his ankles and core area (stomach/abs) - therefore, not making it easy for him to support himself to walk. There is no reason for these, no physical or mental abnormality....I guess it just happens. She comes out once a week for an hour and works with him....which he does okay with for about, oh, ten minutes. For the past two weeks, this lady has left my house smiling telling me he'll be walking by the time she comes next week. Guess what....big surprise, both times she was WRONG. At Max's 15 month check up today, I mentioned my frustrations and worries to the doctor on Max's lack of ambition to walk. The doctor observed him and told me he is not concerned....he feels that it is more a "stubbor" thing than an ability thing. He claimed that about 10% of babies Max's age don't walk yet. We are in the lucky 10%, as I continue to lug my 27 lbs. toddler around and feel my back completely breaking from doing so. We have been working day and night with Max to try to encourage him to walk....and I am DREAMING of the day he just stands up and does it. I never dreamed I'd have a toddler that refused to walk! Putting everything in perspective though, I'll take this "health" issue with my child any day over the more serious health issues other parents have to deal with for their children. Therefore, I'm not complaining....I'm simply writing a plea to Max to please get his booty off the floor and WALK to mama :) Let's hope I can post an extremely excited post on here soon about Max running around the house!

Moving Forward

So...life has been crappy lately. Actually, I feel bad for saying that, since I am so fortunate for so many things in my life such as health and family. I guess I can say I've been dealing with some difficult trials of life lately, and am truly trying to make the best of my situation with a goal in mind. What exactly has me down in the dumps? The gosh darn j-o-b. As I've said before, I'm not going to go into detail on here for various reasons. I just needed to share that I'm going through a rough time with it right now, and need some encouragement to make it through. I'm trying to "leave it at the door" when I come home to my family at night, but some days I just feel like crawling under my covers and bawling. All of this conflict and grief has taken a toll on my health, my personality and my family. I need to get over it, accept what cannot be changed, and move forward...knowing that I will make it through.

I need to take a step back and "find myself"....because I really don't like this depressed person that this current situation has made me. I'm young with a young family....I don't want to look back at memories of my son at this age and remember being so depressed that I missed out. So, I need to put this out there so SOMEONE can make me accountable to stick to it. Here's the plan: MOVE FORWARD. ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE AND AVOID THE NEGATIVITY. My family is my number one priority, and I need to make sure that I'm enjoying time spent with them rather than working about petty crap.

This post seems pretty pointless, but I figured I may as well put it out there. If anyone has any words of wisdom, lemme have it. I need to form a support group called "Mean People at Work Suck". For right now, though, I'll stick to venting on here and listening to what you have to say.

Woof Woof

In the Fawley household, we are currently looking to expand our family. Since I am not sure what my career holds for me next school year, we unfortunately have to hold off on another baby until I have secured a position. Don't think anyone would want to hire a six months pregnant teacher who would need maternity leave ASAP. BOO. So...a dog it is! The choices are limited though, considering I am allergic to pet dander...also known as shedding dogs. I'm also not a fan of sweeping the house five times a day to get the dog hair up so Max doesn't eat it. Sooo, to my husband's dismay, this has really narrowed our choices down to a breed that is mixed with a poodle, since they don't shed. The breeds we are considering don't look like poodles at all...he just can't bring himself to openly love a dog with an "oodle" in its breed. My solution for him? Just say it's mutt...geez! Testosterone...I tell ya. Our two main contendors are:

Goldendoodle (Golden Retriever + Standard Poodle)

Labradoodle (Labador Retriever + Standard Poodle)

I think we are kind of leaning towards the Goldendoodle. Does anyone have any opinions or experience with either one of these breeds? Does anyone know of any other good nonshedding breeds? We're hoping to find our new family member soon :)