Icky Vent

I need to vent. I'm so sick and tired of feel, well, sick and tired that I've HAD it. I had a pity party for myself tonight and shed a few tears. This nausea and feeling so ICKY all the time has made life very difficult to enjoy lately. I do don't sick very well...so imagine feeling sick every day all day....it's pretty much my personal hell. Not to mention I'm trying to wrap up a school year, chase after a 19 month old, keep my house in somewhat order and just be a full functioning human being. Instead, I trudge through my day at school feeling terrible. Then I come home to a son that wants to see me and a husband who wants me to act alive, and all I can do is sit on the couch and try to read books with Max or watch him play. Then it really starts to kick in around 6ish at night....nothing sounds good to eat (most of the time is sounds repulsive), yet eating is the only thing that makes me feel A LITTLE BIT better for about, oh, five minutes. Then I just drag myself upstairs at freaking 7:30 at night, and instead of bath time with Max and getting him to sleep, I have to rely on my husband to do that like a no good mom so I can go lay in bed and moan while I lay there motionless. It's truly ridiculous and I've had it. I'm only just about at the 8 week mark, and another month of this crap seems like insanity. Also, what if I'm one of those "horror stories" where it DOESN'T get any better and lasts THE ENTIRE TIME?! I miss playing with my son. I miss watching movies late at night with my husband. I miss CLEANING MY HOUSE....I broke down and called our cleaning lady today in tears asking her to come on her off week this Saturday just because I'm so WORTHLESS! I want to feel normal again....I want to laugh again...I want to feel good again :( Instead, it's just all day icky-ness. My husband has warned me that if this baby is, indeed, a girl, we will not be having any more kids....frankly because he doesn't want to put up with this again, and I don't blame him! I always said I wanted three or four kids, but after these terrible weeks, I'm about ready to say "enough" if it is a girl....I know I'm probably overreacting (me? never!). I know I'm probably being a little bit of a drama queen (I'd like to see ya'll in my shoes right now, though!). BUT....at this point, I don't care. I need some pick-me-ups. If anyone else felt this horrible in pregnancy, please tell me what you did to relieve the icky-ness! I really don't want to have to ask the doctor for anti-nausea pills....moms who took pills that were said to be "safe" for sickness way back when had babies with major birth defects. SO, tell me what to do! Help a miserable woman out!

Okay, that's the end of my second pity party of the day. I'll try to stop. Try.