An early Christmas wish!

The past few weeks have been a struggle emotionally, physically and mentally. Not only are you just so done in general with being pregnant at the very end of pregnancy, but you start getting anxious about the new baby and everything else that goes along with it. On top of that, throw in some serious physical pain and annoying medical issues, and you will about have had it. I have never been in so much pain every single day and feel like it's taken a toll on my mood and the Holiday season. This is my favorite time of year, and it's sad to say that I really haven't been able to enjoy it much....all I can focus on is the end of this pregnancy, because frankly, I don't have enough energy to do much more.

I go back to the doctor today and am PRAYING for one of two things to happen:
1.) If my blood pressure is still elevated as it has been for two weeks, they decide to just go ahead with the induction now. That way, we can all be home by Christmas Eve to still celebrate traditionally with Max and my family.
2.) They set the induction date for Sunday like we discussed months ago.

Either of these outcomes would give me an exact finish line that I really need right now. If neither of these things definitely happen, I may fall apart right then and there! Even if they set the induction date for Sunday, a huge fear of mine right now is going into labor past tomorrow, which would put me in the hospital over the holidays :( I DO NOT want to be away from Max or any of my family on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day....I want to celebrate with everyone and watch Max get excited opening all of his super cool presents. Sooo....Jackson either needs to come today, tomorrow or hold off until Sunday to get us through the holidays! Please pray for our family to be able to celebrate the holidays together and for Jackson to be born nice and healthy and ready to join this crazy brood :)

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and expects great things for the New Year!

Reality is setting in....

....that I'm about to have TWO kids....two BOYS. Holy moly! Am I ready for this? Can I handle two? Will Max adjust okay? Will the baby be an easier baby than Max was? Ahhhh! I think it's natural for moms who are about to go from one to two kids to freak out a little bit as reality sets in. Don't get me wrong....I am more than DONE being pregnant and can't wait for Jackson to arrive....but each day as it creeps closer I get more and more nervous thinking about it. I'm also starting to freak out about the delivery....I had such an easy labor and delivery with Max (HELLO, epidural!)....I'm really hoping for the same this time around as well!

I go back to the doctor again for another blood pressure check as well as my almost-38 week appointment. If my blood pressure is still extremely high, I'm really hoping we can starting discussing induction for this weekend....these past few days have been pretty uncomfortable and depressing. I won't even go into detail...just know that it suuuuucks. I have zero patience left and I feel like I can't even enjoy the holiday season anymore at this point. Hoping to blog some good news tomorrow...stay tuned!

'tis near!

Baby Jackson may decide to grace us with his presence sooner rather than later...what a treat :) After work yesterday, I went to my regular weekly OB check-up...37 weeks. As soon as the nurse took my blood pressure, she said "WHOA!....your blood pressure is extremely high". She then took it again to make sure she was correct, which she was. Right away she went to get the doctor to let him know. He came in, reviewing my charts from when I was pregnant with Max, and told me it looked like my body was doing the same thing it did with my first son. All of my blood pressure readings would read fine, then all of the sudden it skyrocketed up. The only issue was when it did it with Max, I was already 40 weeks pregnant, so it was a no brainer to just induce me. This time, it's a tad bit sooner, and they really would have preferred for me to be at least 38 weeks. They kept me in the office for a little bit to observe my blood pressure, which did not go down. The doctor then checked me and said I was 1 1/2 cm dialated, 50% effaced and the baby was very low...at about -1 station for you moms who know what that means :) That would explain all the bruising-like sensation I've felt the past few days! These numbers didn't excite me too much....I walked around almost 3 cm dialated with Max for almost 3 weeks, so I'm not convinced it means all that much just yet. Finally, the doctor told me they were sending me over to the hospital for them to run tests and observe my blood pressure. Uggggh....now I was missing a Christmas party I was suppose to be at AND I hadn't seen Max since 7am :( I called Mark and let him know to meet me at the hospital.

Once we got there and were checked into triage, my blood pressure was still really high. At this point, I also starting contracting about 4-5 minutes apart on a consistent basis....not all that painful of contraction, but kind of annoying-catch-your-breath type. The nurse there thought maybe there would be no need for an induction if that's the route they were going to go since my body just might be going into labor on its own anyway. We were stuck in triage for FOREVER waiting for the test results, which all came back okay. The only problem was that my blood pressure was still very high, which made them admit me into the high-risk OB patient wing on the maternity ward. The doctor was in an emergency c-section at the time, so we had no idea what he had planned for us. As soon as I got settled into my room there and Mark went to grab us some food (I hadn't eaten since lunch....STARVING!!!), my blood pressure went down to normal. I asked the nurse if I could just go home then if everything was fine....which she needed us to talk to the doctor first. Until the doctor came in, my blood pressure would fluctuate between normal and high on almost every other reading. When the doctor was finally able to come in, he told me he wanted me to stay overnight for observation to be sure I was okay to go home. He said he had no problem inducing me at this point if my blood pressure continued to be so high and erratic. He also informed me that if I was discharged that I would be on bedrest until delivery. UGH....I only had one more week of work until Christmas Break!

So, we were discharged this morning when my blood pressure read fine, but I have to go back to the office first thing Monday morning to have my blood pressure checked. If it continues to do what it's been doing, they will more than likely induce sooner rather than later. Looks like we may have a Christmas baby after all...guess we'll have to wait and see :) As for me, the orders of "bedrest" aren't easy. I have a lot of things to accomplish now that Jackson could truly be here any day, plus I'm not fully prepared for Christmas! I wish I could just kick my feet up, relax and watch some Christmas movies, but unfortunately I have a million things to accomplish and a crazy two year old son to still raise! I guess we'll see what Monday brings....

Blessed

Ten years ago I was a 15 year old freshman in high school. Living and loving life...not a care in the world. Straightening my hair to go to basketball games. Hanging out at Steak 'n Shake. Thinking I was "it" with my learner's permit. Oh yes, those were the days.

Fast forward ten years, and I am a 25 year old wife and mother to one awesome two year old boy and another little boy on his way any day now. I am a teacher to a group of kids who need guidance and support. I graduated from college and am pursuing my masters degree to further my education as well as career. I have a house, a car, a bank account and a steady household income. I am healthy..my husband is healthy...my children are healthy...my family is healthy. Everyone is happy. Everyone is employed. We are all blessed.

In this holiday season, I look around and see others who aren't as fortunate. I work with single mothers who are working their butts off just to give their kids a good Christmas. I teach children who have learned not to expect anything at Christmas time. I pass people holding up signs for money as I drive home from my own job.

In the spirit of the holiday season, I extend the deepest thank you to the people who have helped me live the blessed life I do live: my parents, for always supporting me and giving me amazing opportunities in life. My family in general, with an awesome circle of trust, support and humor. My husband, for giving me an amazing little boy, another one on the way and for providing above and beyond for our family with no complaint or hesitation. My friends, who are awesome and amazing to be around. My son Max for being Max :)

I hope everyone is having a blessed holiday season and that we all take the time to examine our own blessings in life.

Good Stuff

Had a wonderful bi-weekly visit at the OBGYN yesterday. Everything is looking good, just about 34 weeks prego. I finally broke down and asked the doctor about a possible induction after Christmas if Jack isn't born yet (which, with my luck, he won't be). The doctor told me as long as everything looked good, they had no problem inducing me at 39 weeks....MUSIC TO MY EARS! It's reduced my countdown from about 6 weeks to about 5 weeks to go! It also means that there's a greater chance that my brother, who is only in town once a year at Christmas time, will get to be home to meet Jack. That tax credit wouldn't hurt either :) It also guarantees my full maternity leave at work AND it's one less week of misery. I am a happy camper.

Upcoming events/recent news includes:

• Max had his two year check up today - still a big boy at 30.5 lbs and 36 inches :) He certainly charmed everyone in the doctor's office. We have an appointment with the ENT at the beginning of December to determine if he will need tubes for his ears or not. He hasn't had an ear infection in almost a month now, which is awesome! I'm crossing my fingers that he won't need the tubes and will grow out of this!
• Work is getting harder and harder. I can't stand for very long periods of time, due to all the pressure on my legs as well as the pressure Jack has been putting on my bladder lately....I might just pee my pants! Not to mention my back....I'm not even going to go there. So....I have to sit at my desk a lot and instruct from there sometimes, which I hate. I feel lazy and uneffective. Luckily, my students have been pretty cool about it and will bring their work up to my desk to let me help them out from my comfy chair. My two paraprofessionals that work in my room with me have really been great as well. They have no problem running errands around the school for me and taking the class over when I need a quick break. They'll be getting awesome Christmas presents :)
• My mind is almost gone. The other day, I wore two different shoes on my feet to work...and didn't even notice it until about 2:00pm! My students and I had a good laugh....and of course I had to point it out to everyone at work as well as anyone I could call and tell. I could blame my ever expanding stomach and not being able to see, but whatever, I'll just blame my disappearing mind instead!
• This weekend marks the start of our crazy holiday season! This weekend we are celebrating Thanksgiving with Mark's family at our house....then next week is Thanksgiving at my parent's house...then the second week in December we have my grandma's Christmas party and are also hosting my family's "cousins Christmas party" at our house...the following weekend we are celebrating Christmas with Mark's family at our house....and the following weekend is Christmas Eve and Day at my parents house! Not to mention my brother and his girlfriend will be coming in town around then for Christmas and hopefully the birth of Jack! WHEW! Makes me tired and excited just thinking about it all....we will certainly be busy, which will hopefully make time fly!
• Mark and I are taking a full day in a few weeks to dedicate to making sure everything is ready for Jack, hospital bags are packed and to get our Christmas shopping done. My parents will be taking Max overnight so we can go on probably one of our last dates together before Jack is born and try to get SOME sleep....then the next day, we plan to make a list of last minute Jack items....clean out my car and put the infant car seat in....then do all of our Christmas shopping. I'm taking a personal day from work for it and I couldn't be more excited :)

We've started putting up our Christmas decorations inside the house...hopefully we'll finish the inside and get the outside done as well before December madness hits :) Well, that's all I've got for now....hope everyone is gearing up for a fun holiday season as well!

7 week countdown

I've hit the 33 week mark in my pregnancy, which means I have roughly 7 more weeks to go. I'm going to be honest....I'm doing everything in my power to reduce that number and have this baby a little early. Safe early, but still, early. Along with chasing and carrying around a 30 lb. two year old on a daily basis, I'm working full time and keeping myself quite busy. My classroom is on the second floor of my school, and I'm always running up and down the stairs to go to the office, library, copy room or other classrooms. People tell me to take the elevator because I look and sound like I might die after climbing those freaking stairs....but heck no, if it'll help me go into labor a little sooner, I'm all for it. I won't continue to go into detail and complain about my pregnancy, but just in case you were wondering, I'll highlight some of the current glorious details:

• My back is RIDICULOUS. It was bad from the start, and I knew it was only going to get worse with the added pressure and weight, but OMG. I seriously feel crippled. Hand me a handicap sign for my car now, please. It is excruciating and just plain annoying to feel so restricted. It takes me 5 minutes to turn over in bed. 10 minutes in the morning to be able to really walk. I cannot WAIT to not have this terrible pain anymore, it's becoming unbearable. I feel so bad for Mark....since I can barely move once in bed at night or it takes forever for me to be able to move, if Max wakes up, he has to go get him back to sleep. He knows I'm miserable and would rather do that than be in such pain, but I still feel worthless because of it.
• My groin muscles/thighs are beginning to ache as well. I'm hoping that's a sign that Jack is possibly "dropping" into position and is adding extra pressure to that area, but who knows. Could just be another extra "joy" of pregnancy.
• Acid Reflux. Seriously? For some reason, when I'm laying in bed already miserable and uncomfortable, my body decides it's the perfect time for some acid reflux to kick in. So, I lay there feeling woozy and even more like crap until I fall asleep for an hour or so.
• I sleep in about hour increments. After that amount of time, I have to take 5 minutes like a beached whale to turn to my other side to attempt to sleep for another hour. This involves moving all 5 pillows I have surrounding me to a new position as well. It's quite the process....sometimes all the shoveling and groaning coming from the pain of moving wakes Mark up, which again, makes me feel bad.
• My nerves are getting short. I can feel myself getting frustrated easier with everyone and everything.
• People feel the need to tell me I'm getting big and really popping. Thank you, captain obvious. I am eight months pregnant, and after about 6 months of you telling me you couldn't even tell I was pregnant (and apparently thought I just walked around with a round gut?), I had to start showing at some point before the kid is born.

Okay, enough ranting on the pregnancy. I've been trying to use the upcoming holiday season as a distraction. Tonight, Mark and I began to decorate for Christmas since the holidays will be hectic trying to celebrate with both families plus the possibility of Jack coming at any point. It put me in a better mood....and Max and I get to go get a few more Christmas things tomorrow :) Well, I hadn't blogged in awhile, so I guess this was my lame attempt at showing yes, I'm still hanging in there....barely :) I hope everyone else is having a nice time gearing up for the holidays as well! I'm trying not to be a bah humbug over here!

To Infinity and Beyond!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Max was his current favorite, Buzz Lightyear, and he had so much fun! This was his first Halloween where he could really take part in all the fun. He did a great job trick or treating, running up to houses and taking his candy with a smile. He even attempted to tell people "trick or treat" in his own way :) Seeing Max so excited and happy really helped lift my spirits, which have been so down lately from all the physical pain this pregnancy has brought on. Max is awesome like that - one laugh, smile or "mama" from him, and I seem to forget about the pain in that moment. It also reminds me, "this is what you're going to gain from this pain." I know how much I love Max and how much joy he brings to my and my family's life....and if Jack does even a quarter of that for me and my family, then that makes this pain all worth it. It still sucks in the meantime, but it's pain with a purpose. Max is going to be an amazing big brother, and I've grown a little weepy lately that Max isn't going to be the baby anymore....he's the big boy! Max is growing up so fast and he's so amazing....I am truly blessed to be his "mama!". I'm growing a little nervous about having two kids....what is Max feels slighted? What if he feels jealous? Will I still have enough time to devote to just Max (or just Jack) to show him he's special and loved? I'm hoping this transition goes well for my family and for my big boy....Max :)